The surgeon came by and talked with us (Cindy was here too) about the surgery and recovery. As he was leaving I stopped him and asked if he was a believer. He did not deny it so I thanked him and told him that while I had confidence in him, if the surgery did not turn out the way he hoped it would, he shouldn't take it personally. I reminded him that God is even in charge in the operating room and however it turns out is OK. He seemed blindsided.
Later I asked my night nurse who helped me through the evening procedures if he ever got "freaked out" dealing with people who may well die in the next few hours. His answer declared his comfort with serving and leaving the outcomes to God.
I suspect the nurse has a personal relationship with God. I further suspect the surgeon's relationship with God might be more accurately described as "religious". I may be wrong on both counts, but that is not important. The important issue is whether people can tell from my ease, demeanor, and conversation that I have been with Jesus and not just been to church.
As I read your post above, I was taken back to 19 years ago when I had such a peace about me after Tamara died that some thought I was just in shock or grief stricken. Oh, I suppose I was but not to the point that I didn't see the big picture, that I didn't realize that God had answered one of my prayers. It was just in His time, not mine that I had planned. I have always prayed for my family to be with me in heaven some great day. I just didn't plan for Him to start on that prayer so early in my married life. I can look back now and see things that amaze me how God has worked in our lives since that moment. Some have found a closer walk with my Lord and I pray I have been a source of encouragement to them. He has allowed me to touch so many lives since then. From the friends we left behind in PA to all ones we have met and love here in TN. You my dear friend were used by God for that and I find that so awesome. You were there for us at such an important time for Ted and then God used you to bring us to TN to do His work here. Oh the childrens lives we have touched in all these years since. Some for the absolute best as they began to follow Jesus. Others who have chosen such sad paths of destruction. Still God was in it all. I love how my tapestry is colored by your strings in and out of my life and your sons and their famlies, and Cindys too. We come and go from each others lives and on the back of the tapestry of my life, it looks a mess with the jumble of colors moving here and there but....oh the front only God sees right now. But the front is a beautiful masterpiece of my life in His walk with Him beside me. Your tapestry is like that too and I don't think it's done just yet. You and I and our families have more strings to add, more color to add to our Lords masterpiece. :) You have taught me so much and I learned to see God's Word so very personally thru you. I thank you for that. As I struggle with my pain of this wonderful disease called Rheumotoid Arthritis, I am at peace with it. I am fighting it all the ways I can but I am not worried about it because I know that God is in control and He will remove it when He wants to. And if He doesn't, then that's ok too. I have a story to tell, a love to share, a Savior to talk about, a peace that passes understanding to show to others who I pray will see Jesus and not me, who will want to know what I have that allows me to be like I am and then, oh then, I tell them that it can only be found in Jesus. I ask God for those opportunities.
ReplyDeleteWell, I have rambled on too much. I am getting old and sentimental. I guess when you reach 50 you see things different. :)
Remember, you are so very special to so very many people. Always in our hearts and prayers.
Alice and Ted